Another Year Over....and a new one just begun.

It was my birthday on Friday, and I marked it with another 'first'. I had my underarms waxed. It is something I have always said I would never have done as I'm soft, but I had it on good authority that I would never look back. I go regularly to have other bits done, but armpits just sounded much too painful. The worst bit was growing the hairs in the first place. It is over 30 years since I've had the continental look. I had my first experience with the razor when I got a black 'wet-look' jumpsuit with no sleeves, that I'd got for the school dance. Every 2-3 days since then I've repeated the procedure, until last Christmas Day when my new regime began. On Friday in I went, and I got the bikini bits done first as I can easily cope with that. Despite what I'd just had done, I found it really embarrassing showing someone my underarms! I was scared, especially when the beautician warned me it would really hurt, but in for a penny.... Yes, it did hurt, a lot, but I'm booked in for round 2 to see if it gets easier.

The experience got me thinking about all the daft false things we do for the sake of appearance. Having hot wax poured on you then having your hairs ripped out to the follicles is just the beginning. The first time I had my eyelashes dyed was more painful than childbirth. It was a 'free gift' with a massage and it totally undid the good that the massage had done. They must have got dye in my eye before they left it to take. I've had false nails that only actually made my real nails worse, hair colours and perms, and some really dodgy hair styles (I always thought I looked great!). I did the cabbage soup diet that resulted in my losing 9 pounds in a week. Soup for breakfast is a killer. It was in my single days and I couldn't get away with doing it now. The whole house stinks of cabbage and you have to sleep with the bedroom windows open. The fish pedicure was just plain odd.

I've had a body wrap that promised I would lose inches and inches in a couple of hours. For this you strip off and get measured at various body points. Felt tip marks are put at the measuring points to get accurate results afterwards. Bandages soaked in a 'secret recipe' of mud are then wrapped all around you quite tightly. When this had been done I had the perfect hour glass figure. If I could have put on a long frock and gone out I would have looked amazing. The next stage is to be put in a plastic tracksuit, then helped onto a bed to relax for an hour. When the hour is up you are helped off the bed and out of the tracksuit. This all has to be done on a tiled floor as so much water pours out of the suit. The bandages are taken off and you are re-measured to show that you have indeed lost lots of inches. There are strict instructions not to shower for 2-3 days as the mud/clay keeps working and it does keep you clean (I believed it!). Whether it works or not (I think not although my skin was really smooth) you couldn't show off your newly sculptured body as it has bits of dried mud and felt tip pen marks all over it.

The spray fake tan has to be the worst experience though (I have blocked the horrific Turkish massage from my mind). For this I was stood in a plastic tent in a pair of paper pants. The tent walls were so dirty that it looked like the last occupant had been axe murdered. The beautician, stood well outside the tent, then proceeded to turn on a hose-pipe and spray me with the 'tan'. To get it everywhere you have to lift bits and bend all over the place. It really is very undignified. It looked quite good when I got home, but I couldn't do much for a few hours while it dried. I woke up to tan coloured bed sheets, and someone who had smoked 40 Woodbines a day for 40 years wouldn't have had yellower fingers. My whole body was orange and streaky. My feet were filthy, and if I'd have had it done to go on holiday with I think I would have stayed indoors for the first few days. As it was, I had lots of showers and wore the loofah out scrubbing.

I'm sure I will fall for whatever new thing comes out next, with the excuse that life is there for having new experiences. I am determined to have at least one further 'first' this year. I've never been to an opera, and although I'm not sure it appeals to me, you don't know until you try!

When I was, erm...38 (?), it was a very good year...

I could possibly have mentioned having a 'troubled' year once or twice. However, I also had an amazing year in 2010, and I didn't forget it no matter what else was thrown at me. This is for me to look back on and smile, and for others to be amazed at the fantastic things that sometimes went on behind the scenes.

January
January started with snow, and lots of it. The schools were delayed starting back after Christmas as people just couldn't get there. In January I signed up to do the Great Manchester Run in aid of the MS Society, and training started, very slowly at first. However, it wasn't all healthy stuff. We had a great time when 'the girls' went to The Hilton in Manchester for a champagne high tea, followed by a trip to see Les Mis. Even though it was January, we managed to get a clear day and could see for miles.

The trail behind our house

My mum(s) at The Hilton

February
At the beginning of February we had 'Priscilla' night, as Debbie had just returned from Australia and seen where the ping pong scene was set, and Andrew was over from Switzerland. Unfortunately the Priscilla Queen of the Desert DVD didn't arrive from Amazon in time, but we managed to get hold of a copy anyway. We also had the most needed holiday ever, and we got the most February sun we have seen in Cyprus. Apart from the slight hitch when my case didn't arrive that I didn't mention (much) it was sooo relaxing.

Andrew and Debbie



Paul and H at Limassol





March

Towards the end of March a great friend who I lived with in London and did voluntary work for years ago died. She lived near Portsmouth so we went down for the funeral. P and H went to see the ships while I was at the service, and we stayed overnight in Portsmouth.

The Spinnaker in Portsmouth

H on The Victory

April

After Portsmouth we stayed on and went to Stonehenge, where I'd never been. It was amazing. I loved it. Although you can see it from the main road it was well worth the entrance price to go and have a close look. We then went to Avebury to see the stone circles there, before going to Bath for the night. Even though the main purpose of the trip was to attend a funeral, we had a great time and I am certain that Val would have been pleased.

Stonehenge

Pulteney Bridge, Bath

May

We were busy in May. It started off bad with the election result, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I roped H in, and we had lots of production lines going in our house when we were on envelope stuffing duties. David Milliband and Tony Blair even paid us a visit. Paul and I went to see Peter Kay and got in the private bar beforehand so we could relax with champagne. We also had a last minute day out to Liverpool, where we got to see the childhood homes of John Lennon and Paul McCartney. The highlight of the month though was The Great Manchester Run which I completed, raising over £600 for the MS Society.

H on election day

A visit from Tony Blair



The Three Graces, Liverpool




Lennon's house, Liverpool





   

Finishing The Great Manchester Run, and still smiling




Before Peter Kay

  

June

We managed a sneaky weekend away to Scotland to stay with my friend who runs a B&B in Kirkconnel. We really got away from it all. It is lovely around there, and rolling the car 'up' a hill at Electric Brae was weird. We went to Gardeners World Live at Birmingham NEC. I had got Paul tickets for Christmas as I thought he'd like it, but we all had such a good time that we are having a bigger family day out there this June! It was also the first Manchester Day Parade, which the city of Manchester was kind enough to arrange on Debbie's birthday. This is going to be an annual event.

Dunure, Scotland

Drumlanrig Castle, Scotland

Gardeners World



Gardeners World



Manchester Day parade





July

July was a bit quieter! It was the X Factor auditions in Manchester, where The Chorladies came so close to fame. We didn't let a little rejection get in the way of a good day out though. We had time on 'the beach' that had been especially constructed for the World Cup, and as well as yet another trip to Cloud 23 we found a new bar, Taps, where you have beer pumps on your table so you can help yourselves. An iPod Touch attached to the pumps works out how much you have had an charges you at the end.

X Factor Auditions



Taps bar




Debbie on the beach in central Manchester



August

In August Paul got his first ever suit, for the wedding of a friend, and he looked ever so smart in it. We had a night in Hebden Bridge as a friend had just moved there. I was in charge of finding a B&B, and I don't think I'll be given that job again. We had a bad taxi experience, although the B&B was lovely, if a little too far into the country. Soon after we had our first all-inclusive holiday, to Turkey. The hotel was brilliant, the weather perfect, and we were close to Ephesus so we had a bit of history too.

Paul in his first suit

Hebden Bridge

P and H in Turkey

Ephesus

September

Probably the quietest month of the year. Debbie had her MacMillan Coffee Morning, with wine in the afternoon, and she raised a fortune. The wine in the afternoon soon turned into more wine at night, but it was all in a good cause. I also started a course, and it was strange writing essays again, being told what I had to write about. So far so good, and all the assignments have been passed so far.

Come Dine With Me following the coffee morning wine afternoon

Massages were given in exchange for donations

October

We did lots in October too. A tidy up was organised on the Kirklees Trail, which is just outside our back garden gate, so we went to help out. We also joined TWIGS (Tottington Wildlife Watch Group) - a local group for children that I'm becoming a leader for. I don't know much about wildlife but I'm guessing I just have to be responsible and one step ahead of the children! We had a couple of trips to Manchester, taking H on the Wheel that he's been asking to do for ages, and visiting the John Rylands Library. At the end of the month H and I went off to Switzerland, leaving Paul at home to 'do jobs'. We flew via Heathrow and flying low over central London was brilliant. We stayed in Basel a couple of nights, but we also had a couple of nights in the chalet in the mountains, swimming in the outdoor spa heated pool. I always feel better about everything when I've been to see The Swiss.

Our tidy trail

The view through the shutters in my bedroom in Inden

Over the rooftops in Basel



November
Things didn't slow down in November, when it was time to pick sloes after the first frost. Sloe gin is now maturing under the stairs and is a lovely colour. It will be ready in a couple of months. I was talked into having a 'fish pedicure' where you put your feet in a fish tank and let them eat the dead skin. I also had an interesting experience at a fondue night, that took me days to recover from. The night after I went to see Marc Almond for the first time. Although I was very subdued it was great.

Sloe gin day 33

Fish pedicure



Things got rowdy at the fondue night....


 

...and the night got worse after I left!

December
Finally the end of the year was in sight, but not before a big party for my dad's 70th birthday. He didn't really want any fuss, but I think he enjoyed it. We put together a book full of birthday messages as a momento for him. It snowed on the day I was having my Christmas Play Out in Manchester, but it all worked out well. We managed drinks, a meal at Sweet Mandarin (where I've never been but heard great things about - all true), and then went to see James at the MEN. It was a great day with great company. Paul had his hernia operation a few days before Christmas and the bruises are still there now, but it went well. Christmas was a bit deflated and we managed to get through it without hitches, although I have my thinking hat on to make next years better. FB wanted Pot Noodle for Xmas dinner so that is what she was given (Xmas dinner flavour, yuk). The year finished with a good curry, a scary film, and hundreds of Chinese lanterns in the sky.

Dad's birthday

Dad's birthday

Christmas did come to my home-office

FB enjoying her Xmas Dinner

I'm already saving the good stuff for next year's review, and yes, I am going to throw all the rubbish back!

Happy New Year

I've had a push to write again, but I've really been putting it off. I did contemplate a review of the year, as it has been eventful to say the least. We've done some brilliant things throughout the last year, but it has also been one of the most traumatic ones ever. After the first week in January I took so many knocks, and these continued throughout the year, with a great big one hitting me on Christmas Eve. However, although I might do a 'good bits' review it still wouldn't be right to put the rest on the world wide web without anonymity.....and yes, I do know I'm not the only one around here to have a bad time but I'm allowed a little self-pity. That is done with now.

Paul's bruised and stitched naval.

Christmas in the Kelly-Hale Household isn't quite as jolly as most! Paul puts up a Christmas tree and decorations, and I fail to acknowledge them. This year Paul had a hernia operation Christmas week, so he has been out of action. I never used to be this bah-humbug, but I think we reached new lows this year. Present buying went downhill. Although the children didn't miss out, we didn't go mad, and we didn't buy each other anything at all. We did Secret Santas for one side of the family. There are loads of children, who all get an awful lot, and it ends up costing everyone a fortune buying things that people don't need or particularly want. A present was bought for and by each person (so our family bought 4 presents, rather than 13!) and we had a £10 limit. I got loads for the £10s I spent, picking up bargains as I saw them. I think it was a brilliant idea, and whatever the others think I'm not going back to how we were.

FB enjoying her Christmas Dinner.

Christmas dinner was a change this year as well. I used to spend hours and hours cooking up wonderful things for people. For the past couple of years we have had nice food, but not turkey and all the trimmings. Last year we had lobster thermidor, but not just any lobster thermidor This year M&S did us proud again. I had my favourite treat food (a tin of M&S chunky chicken) and Paul had his (a tin of M&S hot beef curry). As it was a special occasion we had microwave rice! We had no children arguing because they didn't want sprouts etc as we gave them what they requested. Afterall, shouldn't Christmas be about everyone enjoying themselves and indulging how they like? H had hotdogs, and FB's special request was a Christmas dinner flavoured Pot Noodle. We all enjoyed our food, and there was absolutely no stress, no arguing, little preparation, and not much washing up.

The first sherry of 2011

By 27th December we had our thinking caps on, trying to come up with an alternative for next year. I thought a bit of voluntary work, perhaps helping out in a soup kitchen, might be a good idea. I found a charity in Manchester that opens for 12 hours a day throughout the Christmas period to feed and help those in need. Doctors and solicitors turn up to give advice to people who otherwise wouldn't be able to access it. I've been told though that H wouldn't be allowed there. I will check it out though. I think it would do him the world of good to see things through different eyes. 'Crossing the water' next year was mentioned, but I think that has too much potential to go wrong. We would only need a little snow and our plans would be kiboshed. Even a cruise was debated, but as my dad said, you couldn't escape Christmas at all then, and they don't do 'Cruises for Scrooges'. I do have a plan hatching though that could work very well....

Paul and H on the snow on the beach

The first Mr Whippy ice-cream of the year

I know I was miserable this year but I think that could be because I was so eager for it to end! Last night was a perfect, quiet, end to the year, with a good curry, good friend, good wine and a scary film. It was wonderful to wake up this morning without a bad head, and able to have our first grand day out of the year. We had a big lie in so were too late to go up to Fountains Abbey. Instead, we went to Formby to see the red squirrels. It was raining, but we still managed an ice-cream before having a walk and ending up on the beach. It is a fabulous beach (I've never been before), and it was a bit weird having to cross the snow to get to the sea. We didn't go to see the Antony Gormley sculptures as the weather was so bad we thought we wouldn't really see much, but that will save for another day. We saw a grand total of no squirrels (I had thought there would be loads) even though we went through the woods searching. Spotting a Waitrose more than made up for this though, until we realised it was closed. We didn't let a little thing like that spoil our day though, and had our picnic (complete with flasks of tea!) in the Waitrose car park. We know how to live.

Paul and I on Formby beach, 1st January 2011

I'm going to be doing lots of great things this year, and I'm going to ride any knocks that happen to come my way. I'm going to have new experiences and take myself out of my comfort zone more often, and this time next year I will do a review of the year that won't have to be doctored!

Happy New Year!